The White Elephant Gift Nobody Wants: Family Conflict
We’ve all been there: the holiday White Elephant gift exchange begins fun and lighthearted. Then Uncle Jim “steals” the massage gun he secretly hoped to keep. Couples team up to keep the best gifts between them. Cousin Sarah ends up with the singing fish. Someone is still remembering that coffee mug from three swaps ago.
Now imagine a similar scenario, except instead of gag gifts, it’s Dad’s classic car, Mom’s jewelry, or the family cabin. And there are no rules, no turns, and no laughing it off afterward.
The Game Nobody Wants to Play
Without a thoughtful estate plan, families may be left to figure things out after someone passes. The stakes are far higher, and the impact can last for generations.
At least White Elephant has rules. Everyone knows when their turn is, there’s a limit on how many times something can be stolen, and everyone agreed to play. When someone dies without a clear plan, there are no rules, no referee, and definitely no agreement about who gets what.
When “Stealing” Gets Real
Just like in White Elephant, family members may want the same items, feel disappointed when expectations aren’t met, and notice who received “more.” They may form alliances against other family members, and resentment can linger. The difference? You can’t laugh it off at next year’s party. These wounds can be hard to heal.
Without clear direction, state law determines who receives what, someone must go to court to be put in charge (which can be costly and time-consuming), and family members may rush to claim items. Sentimental value can be overlooked in favor of monetary value. Verbal promises typically carry no legal weight without documentation. Children from different relationships may find themselves at odds with a current spouse.
Creating Clarity Instead of Conflict
At our firm, we help you create more than documents. We make sure your wishes are clear, with the person you choose in charge—rather than whoever gets to court first. Sentimental items can be directed to the people who will treasure them, and your values and priorities guide every decision.
Most importantly, we help you start these conversations now—so you can explain your decisions and share your love—rather than leaving your family to guess and argue later. During our Life & Legacy PlanningⓇ Session, you’ll get clear on what you own and what it’s worth, decide who should receive what and why, and create a plan that actually works when your family needs it.
This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Peace
While others are planning their White Elephant strategies, you can give your family something priceless: the peace of never having to fight over your estate.
📞 Schedule your complimentary 15-minute Discovery Call today to take the first step:
https://cal.com/chavislawfirm/15consultThis article is a service of Chavis Law Firm, a Personal Family Lawyer Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we empower you to make informed and confident decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Life & Legacy PlanningⓇ Session, during which you will become more financially organized than ever before and make the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Life & Legacy Planning Session.